from bad to worse

From bad to worse.

The last two hours have been hell. I mean a literal hell for
anyone who ever has to deal with something like this. My heart dropped two
hours ago when my second oldest daughter called me from her lunchroom in high
school, “Mom we have a code red and cops are everywhere.”

These ten words stopped my world. Stopped it completely. A few
seconds later my oldest daughter texted me the same thing and that she was
being told that they were NOT allowed to tell their parents what was going on. “My
response was I don’t give a fuck you both keep texting me.”

Now I am open with my kids, I talk to my kids, I teach my
kids, and I listen to my kids. These are all super important because deep down I
know my kids in any situation will be fine. They know how to defend themselves
and to take themselves out of a dangerous situation and hide. They know not to
try to be the hero unless there is no other choice. In that I am super proud of
them. With both parents trained by the military for different things my kids
had the huge advantage in staying calm, reading the situation, and moving
through it. This I never doubted their ability.

I was informed by both of them within seconds. Nothing from
the school. They both texted me every five minutes as they were in very
different areas of the school. Every five minutes I could breathe again. it
took over an hour for the school to inform the parents as to the situation. The
local news broke it twenty minutes before that. Parents heard about this on the
news before we were told by the school. News reports were down playing it and
said the area was cleared but more and more law enforcement agencies were still
showing up. They had bomb dogs in twenty minutes after that new report was released.
They had swat on the roof of the school. They had over five towns cops at their
school and we the parents were not told what was going on.

Parents started swarming the outside of the school. Completely
understandable since we weren’t being told anything except by our kids who in
turn were not being told anything by staff or teachers. Every five minutes I received
two text messages though, I could breathe. The rising fear I had has not gone
away. We hear of too many school shooting, swatting attempts that go bad, so
many little details in life that can change everything in a second. Nothing can
take away this fear as a parent. I would gladly stand there for my kids in
their place so they never have to know evil in its many forms.

My kids knew to let me know the situation regardless of what
they were being told to do by others. Tell your kids to do the same. If you are
a teenager and you have to go through this, tell your parents. Text them, call
them, let them know something, anything. Follow all instructions but do not not
tell them. If my girls had listened I would have been in the dark. I would be
worse of then I was and I had a support system. My sister and father went
through this hell with me. My husband 2000 miles away was with me as well. We have
talked more today in the past two hours then we have in a month.

Today was hell.

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