Some concerns…

I have received a few messages asking how I am and why I have stopped posting as much as I did even a few weeks ago.

the short answer I am fine and just dealing with a few things. The long answer is I am fine sort of, and I am dealing with many things. As many of you know I am dealing with my husband being in a different state and will be moving there after our kids get out of school in june/july time period. That is a major thing as we both cross the country to spend some time together and work on finalizing our goal, it wears a person down quite a bit regardless. 

The other major factor is my ex has resurfaced with a vengeance. He has been again been in my email, having others do his harassing on the phone, basically his normal assholish behavior. This has lead to sleepless nights, lack of wanting to do much of anything, honestly. It has also brought back the haunting memories of the beginning of this behavior where my life was really in danger. 

Some of you know I did write a story, “Stalked to the Sengoku” to help me cope with real life events with a twist of fiction. However even now nothing is helping. Before you come to me and start saying this or that about cyber laws/stalking laws, know I do know them already. My lawyer, yes I do have one of those, stays current on all my activies and new laws that could help me in the long run. There is nothing I can do at this point except give up. I won’ t do that in anyway shape or fashion. So it seems we are at a stalemate.

I didn’t ask for this, I certainly don’t encourage it, and to be honest I have no understanding why he does the things he does. It’s over. It has been over for nearly two decades. I don’t understand the need to continue this childish and asinine behavior, it shows which one of us was the child even back then and surprisingly it wasn’ t me, who was the youngest by five years. 

Since we live on different coasts for the time being, and he uses anonymizers while he hacks my stuff and changes my passwords, signs me up for health insurance quotes, and whatever else he does he has been deemed a safe threat. yes a safe threat. the same man who beat the crap out of me sending me to the hospital, the same man who tried to run me off the road in the daytime, the same man who terrorized my life for five months while I tried to move on is a “ Safe threat” Which means he may continue his sad and stupid behavior without much consequence. Law enforcement is too overwhelmed with real crimes to worry about this. I know I have tried. He is good at being an asshole, I am good at looking over my shoulder. Life moves on and he gets bored or he finds another victim, I mean girlfriend, and it stops for a while. This is my life. I just wanted people to understand why things will be coming out slowly if at all it is because dealing with nonsense takes a lot out of me, a normally pretty private person, however writing was an outlet I could pout myself into but it can leave me sapped for strength at times, right now I need that strength to deal with him.

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